Letters to Alice
by EternalBella
Summary: It has been 2 days since Edward left Bella and she begins to email Alice, hoping to get her to write her back. Bella starts to have thoughts of hurting herself in order to get Edward's attention.


Letters to Alice

Forty-right hours. Two days since Edward had left me in the forest. Left me to die. Left me to live. I'd rather die.

I sat at my desk, staring at my computer screen. Edward had left me. Had left town. Left me. How could he have changed so much after Jasper had attempted to hurt me? Surely that couldn't have changed Edward's feelings for me. Right? Edward had to still love me. He had told me he did.

I clicked on Internet Explorer and lethargically went to my inbox to begin a composition. I chose Alice Cullen's contact and posed my fingers over the keyboard letters. I had written Alice one email so far. And it had been forty hours since that email. And no reply.

It had said:

Dear Alice,

I hope you answer this email. Please. I'm really needing a friend right now. You haven't answered my texts. I'm sure you know what has happened between Edward and I. OR at least you saw it coming. Couldn't you have told me? Warned me about that? He left. When he left. Nothing seems to matter anymore. Come on, I know you know I'm not angry at you for planning the birthday party. Please, I need you to answer me.

Love,

Bella

There was a knock on my bedroom door, which startled me.

"Bells?" Dad asked in a gruff voice. Probably because I hadn't come to dinner two hours ago, or come out of my bedroom since…since that day.

I inhaled a breath, not wanting to be bothered. I had no energy to even speak. Or eat. I hadn't eaten since…well, two days ago.

"Yeah?" I said flatly.

"Are…you going to come eat pizza? Or do you want me to bring it to you?" he asked.

I waited to respond and stared at the blank email with Alice's email showing in the To: section.

"I'm not hungry. Thanks."

"C'mon Bells." He sighed. "You got to eat something."

"Couldn't eat." Tears sprang to my eyes and burned. I found myself staring at the keyboard mindlessly.

"Well." He heaved another breath. "If you don't eat then I'm going to have to call your mother. Please Bells, you're killin' me here. I'm worried about you."

"Fine."

He opened the door, left the plate of veggie pizza, and a Coke next to me on my desk. I didn't even look up. He rubbed my shoulder awkwardly then turned and closed my front door.

I didn't know how long it took for me to start composing my email.

Dear Alice,

Dad said you guys left to LA. Why won't you reply? This is hurting me so bad that not even you will talk to me. Has Edward even showed any sign of being sorry for this? Look, I can't go on like this. I'm starving myself. I'm thinking of doing something drastic to myself. Please. Write back, I beg of you, even if it's just to let me know you're getting these emails.

Bella

I hit the Send button and then looked at Jacob's contact name. I could hear the rain pouring outside which was unnerving. I wanted to email Mom and tell her to let me come home but I wasn't ready to leave here. Edward would come back. Just like he had before when he had taken time off for personal reasons from school.

The memories caused so much agony that I started to cry. Tears poured down my face. I picked up the pizza plate and threw it against the wall with a glass-breaking noise. I threw the Coke too. It splattered and fizzed and bubbled all over my wooden floor.

I watched the screen for maybe half an hour. That was when a new email message come in from Jacob Black.

What's up Bells.

Hadn't heard from you. Bella, you're scaring me. Your dad says you're asleep when I come over. Look I know what happened. I'm here for you and I want to know if you'd want to maybe grab a Starbucks. There's a new one in the Safeway store. Wanna check it out? Do you even drink coffee? Well, since you wouldn't take my call earlier, I'm gonna bug you til you at least let me know you're ok.

Jake

I focused on the coffee part. He was asking me out? I sniffled and wiped underneath my eyes. It was a wayward way of trying to pick up where Edward had left off. I knew he wanted me and cared, but still.

My face hurt. So did my eyes from sobbing. And my stomach, but I refused to eat. Refused to even go to school tomorrow for it was Monday. I had no will to go on. Didn't Alice care about that? Edward? The only person that cared was Jacob at this point. Anger and despair boiled up inside of me. I felt my sob choke up within my chest.

When I could see, I pressed the reply button and said to Jacob:

Hey. Sorry but I'm not ready to go anywhere, much less to Starbucks. Not a coffee drinker. Thanks for caring. I just need some space.

Bella.

After I woke up twelve hours later, I went to my computer and noticed that the only one who had responded to my emails was Mom, of course, and Jacob. No Alice, who was whom I really wanted to hear from. I thought of trying to email Edward but I knew he wouldn't answer.

Like I never existed.

That kept stirring through my mind.

I read Mom's email which said:

Sweetheart I am so sorry I'm not there, but I can be. Call me please. Your dad's saying you're not eating?

Mom

I ignored that and read Jacob's email:

Hey.

Well it's not like I'd put the moves on you. I just want you to have someone to talk to and that someone should be me. You pick the place. Or if you don't want to go out, come over. No pressure. Of course, you know how I feel about you, don't you? I like you, I do, but I'm just going ot be a friend fofr bow. I wouldn't settle for rebound. Call or come by.

Jake

I felt a whirl of retaliation hit me. I hit reply and then wrote:

I know you do. I'll come over when I'm ready.

Bella

I checked my email incessantly then finally composed another message to Alice:

Alice

I get it, you're ignoring me. I'm getting emails from a friend Jacob Black who wants to take me out. What if I did? Would Edward care? Will you ask him for me? Maybe that'll bring him back. I'm seriously thinking about telling Edward I'm going to hurt myself. Maybe he'd come back. I'd do anything to bring him back.

Bella

The window behind my curtains was inky black. So was my mind. I really couldn't think straight. All I knew was that I'd make this pain cease somehow. Whatever it took.

I gazed at the old messages in my inbox and felt my mind go numb. I had to eat but couldn't care about living. Even if it was for Edward. Or Jacob. If going to Jacob's home or hurting myself seriously would turn Edward's decision around, then that was what I'd do.

I opened up a new blank message and chose Edward Cullen as the contact and began to write my ultimatum email.


End file.
